Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .
"Online dating is not only mainstream, it's one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you'll meet someone in the coffee shop," says Dr. And these days, there's a site for everyone, from e Harmony and Match to niche sites like JDate.
Check out our Guide to Online Dating to learn the basics including setting up a profile to taking a relationship offline.
Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.
Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .
"Tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to be home, and meet for coffee in a public place," suggests Dr. He may have seemed great, but loses interest, or is dating someone else, or has problems you will never know about.
Kirschner."Four out of five men you go out with will disappear," says Dr. Don't take it personally, and instead try to remember that if you're meeting a lot of people, the number of bad apples will go up—but so will the odds that you'll meet a few good apples, too. Kirschner recommends, at least to start with, dating several guys at the same time.
Maybe one guy is very funny, but you enjoy another man's intellectual stimulation.
"You can see what you might want in a relationship going forward," she says, even if it's not with any of these guys. "Just say, 'I'm enjoying dating you, but I want you to know that for now I'm also seeing others casually.'"Hopefully it's obvious to you that if you have children at home, you shouldn't bring dates around unless it's somewhat serious.
Read on for 10 tips that will help you get back in Cupid's good graces.